Is there inconsistency in the standards imposed on the male child compared to that of the female child?
We ought to ask ourselves if both the female and male child, especially in black families, are raised in the manner with regards to the rules inflicted on each child. One of the biggest reasons black men and women are having a hard time with dating is because we were not raised to be compatible.
Our parents raised girls to be severely independent but raised the boys to be overly dependent on their mothers.
Our parents are so strict with the girls but lenient with the boys. You can’t raise the boys to want feminine women but then raise girls to be masculine. You can’t raise a woman to want loyal men, when you let the boys do irresponsible things and brush it off as them just being boys. Be consistent!
-Text extracted from Twitter.
The Tricky Dynamic
This dynamic has always troubled and quite frankly annoyed me. I mean not to ponder on gender equality issues and or the presence of patriarchy in families. This is simple, why is it that, in most black families, the rules imposed on the female child are so restrictive compared to those imposed on the male child?
I asked one of my older brothers this question recently, as a father, hoping he would shed some light on the question at hand. He expressed obvious discomfort about the issue and chose not to engage in the matter at all. From that I understood that he too realized that as a male child he had been granted the freedom to get away with a whole lot of things. Things that the female child, in our society, ought not to even think of. Male children tend to be given very little slack, if any at all, for being irresponsible in their actions.
Boys will be boys.
The above is not true. Boys will be that which they have been taught and allowed to be, enough with the excuses. Female children, rarely question this notion. This is only because girls are raised to believe it is okay for males to act in such a manner.
Granted I am not a parent and perhaps I may not be able to comprehend the task of raising a child as yet. I respect whatever method that parents see fit for their children. Given the chance, I would not for a second have my children believe that they can get away with acting in a certain manner because of their gender.
The same standard should apply both the male and female child. Simply because children should be raised equally and any rules applicable to one child should apply to all regardless of the child’s gender. Be consistent.