One of the most avoided conversations between mother and daughter is that about sex.
Having been conditioned by both society our families and schools, sex has for many a year been seen as taboo to even talk about. This is one of the most fundamental teachings a mother ought to share with her daughter and is neglected far too often.
Some parents say it is uncomfortable engaging in such conversations with their children. Then leave it to the school to teach.
However, what they fail to understand is that the school syllabus is limited to the reproductive system, teaching about conception, risks related to unprotected sex and sexually transmitted diseases. The school may not teach your child about consent and that it is not a once off thing. The school syllabus conditions young men and women to fear sex and see it as taboo.
“Don’t have sex, you’ll get pregnant and die”
This is a famous line from adults when educating young women about sex. The narrative definitely needs to change, teach them consent. Teach them that there will come a time when they are ready, not on anyone else’s call but theirs. When engaging in sexual activities and the precautions they need to follow when doing so. Make it known to young women that they can be comfortable enough in themselves and in their bodies. This is so they can make such decisions.
Don’t shy away from these conversations
Educate the young woman on vaginal health, what a healthy sex life is and her options as far as contraception goes. Teaching about sex doesn’t and shouldn’t promote the engaging in underage or non-consensual sex. It is aimed at arming young men and women with the necessary knowledge to deal with normal life circumstances.
The lack of such conversations has led to sexually liberated women being called names for expressing themselves with their own bodies.
Sex is still a touchy subject. Many people and mostly men think that women shouldn’t want to have sex for pleasure because sex is for the man, women are merely child bearers. Wrong. Our misconceptions about what sex is and what sex is not is a reflection of a lack of education on the subject.
We need to start having open conversations about sexual interactions between consenting adults. We need to educate, from a young age, both males and females about consensual sex, healthcare and contraception. We need to understand the dynamics of sexual liberation. These are conversations that need to be had between partners, parents and children as well as peers. We need to know better in order to do better, not only for ourselves but for our youth too.