“One of the most important relationships we have, is the relationship we have with our mothers” Inyanla Vanzant
This statement rings so true to most women, as it is the relationship that sets the foundation of the relationships that women have with themselves. It sets the tone for your self-esteem, self-value and self-image as well as your relationships with others.
As a woman, your first experience of an intimate relationship stems from this very relationship. This involves learning about trust, separation and connection. Putting others’ needs ahead of your own and who you are as an individual.
Our relationship with our bodies, food and even men are influenced by our relationship with our mothers. These effects can either be healthy or unhealthy depending on the nature of this relationship. The influence largely depends on whether or not we have consciously or unconsciously resolved and dealt with any issues that may have come about.
Her Journey, Influenced Mine
I have always admired many qualities about my mother. Her strength, warmth and drive to not only overcome challenges in her life, but refusing to let them define her. These, and many more, are the qualities that I have always respected and aspired to.
Even though my mother has not directly influenced the career I chose to follow. She has influenced certain characteristics, qualities and values that are evident in both my personal and professional life. I am grateful that my mother did not impose her dreams on me. She lovingly allowed me to define my own life and gave me room to discover who I am as an individual.
Like all relationships, there will be disagreements. The key is working through them with love. I have found that the older I become, and the more we speak, the more I understand my mother. In fact, I feel that we both understand each other better with age.
Differences are a part of life and are a part of growth. We need to disagree in a constructive manner and resolve any conflict, constantly working on nurturing, improving and healing the mother-daughter relationship.
Taking the time to learn your mother’s journey will give you perspective and a deeper understanding of your own journey.
“Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them.”